Suspect Your Teenager Is Using Drugs? What Parents Should Do

Signs That May Point to Drug Use

Adolescence in itself brings sharp changes: new friends, withdrawal, mood swings, arguments with parents. That is why a single sign proves nothing. What should raise concern is a combination of several changes that appeared relatively quickly and persist for a long time: it is as if the person has become someone else. It is especially significant if the changes affect several areas at once — school, health, social life, money.

Parents often notice physical signals: unusually dilated or constricted pupils, red eyes, daytime sleepiness and nighttime insomnia, sudden changes in appetite and weight, a frequent runny nose without a cold, an odor on clothing, marks on the skin. Behavioral signs include falling grades, skipping school, loss of interest in former hobbies, new friends the teenager doesn't talk about, secrecy around their phone, and money or belongings going missing.

• A sharp drop in grades and skipping school for no clear reason.
• A change of social circle and reluctance to introduce new friends to parents.
• Unusual sleepiness and lethargy or, on the contrary, agitation and talkativeness.
• Changes in the pupils, red eyes, a frequent runny nose.
• Missing money or belongings, requests for money without explanation.
• Unfamiliar objects, packaging or pills in their room or belongings.
• Outbursts of aggression, lying, sharp mood swings.

What Else Could Explain the Changes in Your Teenager

Similar changes occur with depression, an anxiety disorder, bullying at school or online, a first love and breakup, sleep problems or exhaustion. In teenagers, depression often shows up not as sadness but as irritability, apathy and withdrawal from others. Quite often it is precisely emotional difficulties that lead to first experiments with drugs: the teenager is trying to cope with pain in whatever way is available.

So the parents' goal is not to prove guilt but to understand what is going on. Even if drug use is confirmed, it is important to find out what problem lies behind it. An addiction specialist or adolescent psychiatrist helps distinguish one-off experimentation from developing dependence and identify co-occurring disorders. ICD-11 distinguishes an episode of harmful use, a harmful pattern of use and a dependence syndrome — and the approach to helping depends on which one it is.

How to Talk to Your Teenager About Drugs

Calm down before the conversation. If you are panicking or furious, your teenager will sense a threat and shut down. Choose a time when nobody is in a hurry and your child is sober. Start with care and specific observations: “I've noticed you've been sleeping very little and you quit soccer. I'm worried. What's going on?” Listen more than you talk, don't interrupt and don't lecture.

Be prepared for denial, anger or tears — this is a normal defensive reaction. Don't demand a confession at any cost. It is more important to keep the connection: your teenager needs to know that they will not be abandoned at home and that they can tell the truth without fear of being crushed. Say honestly that you are worried about their health and safety, and suggest talking to a specialist together.

What Not to Do During the Conversation

Don't use labels like “junkie,” don't threaten to throw them out of the house, don't compare them with other children, and don't stage public confrontations in front of relatives. Pretending nothing is happening is not a good idea either. Secret searches, reading their messages and trying to catch them in the act can destroy trust for a long time — such measures are taken only when there is a real threat to life.

If Your Teenager Admits to Using

Thank them for their honesty — this is an important step, even if you feel frightened and hurt. Ask, without judgment, what they used, how often and why. Agree on the next step right away: a consultation with a doctor. Explain that seeking help is confidential and that nobody will place them on a registry without legal grounds.

What Parents Should Do: A Step-by-Step Plan

Once the first emotions have passed, it is important to act consistently. Parents should agree on a united position: a teenager quickly takes advantage of contradictory reactions from mom and dad. Next comes a consultation with a specialist. It can first be held without the child, to understand how to proceed. Finally, the environment needs to change: more involvement in the teenager's life, clear rules and, at the same time, support and time together.

1. Calm down and don't make decisions in the first minutes after a discovery or suspicion.
2. Agree with the other parent on a united position and rules.
3. Talk to your teenager at a calm moment, starting with care and facts.
4. Consult an addiction specialist or adolescent psychiatrist — online is fine.
5. Set clear rules: curfew, oversight of money, getting to know their friends.
6. Spend more time together and support activities your teenager enjoys.
7. Take care of yourself: family psychotherapy helps the whole family.

Is a Drug Test Necessary?

Home rapid tests seem like a simple solution, but they have limitations. They detect only certain groups of substances and only within a certain period after use, and both false-positive and false-negative results are possible. A negative test does not rule out a problem, and a positive one without laboratory confirmation may be wrong. A teenager often experiences being forced to take a test as humiliation, and it destroys trust.

It is usually better to start with a conversation and a consultation with a specialist, and to decide on laboratory testing together with the doctor. An addiction specialist will explain which tests are really needed and carry them out properly. It is important that the teenager understands the purpose of the examination — caring for their health, not gathering evidence for punishment. When testing is done with the teenager's involvement and understanding, it becomes part of treatment rather than a reason for a new conflict.

How Specialists Help and What Can Be Done Online

Help for a teenager usually includes an assessment by an addiction specialist or psychiatrist, psychotherapy — individual and family — and work on the reasons for drug use: anxiety, depression, difficulties at school, conflicts. Approaches that involve the family are especially effective for teenagers: changing relationships and rules at home in itself reduces the risk of continued use. Medication is prescribed only by a doctor and only for specific indications.

At Psychiatry Online, parents can get a consultation with an addiction specialist or psychiatrist online, anonymously and at any time — this helps them quickly understand how serious the situation is and what to do next. Psychotherapy is also convenient online: many teenagers open up more easily over video from their own room. If an in-person examination, tests or inpatient treatment are required, the doctor will advise where to go.

Confidentiality and the Teenager's Rights

The Code of the Republic of Kazakhstan “On Public Health and the Healthcare System” guarantees medical confidentiality. Consent to medical intervention for minors is given by their legal representatives, and from a certain age the teenager's own consent is also taken into account. The doctor will explain to parents and the child what information remains confidential — this is important for trust in the treatment.

When to see a doctor

• You have found substances, pills or objects that may be related to drug use.
• Your teenager has admitted to using, even if they say “it was just once.”
• Their behavior, sleep, appetite and school performance have changed sharply and are not returning to normal.
• Your teenager shows signs of low mood, anxiety or self-harm, or talks about hopelessness.
• Conversations end in rows, and you don't know how to proceed.
• Your teenager combines drugs with alcohol or behaves dangerously after using.

Questions and answers

Reviewed by

Askar Sarsenbayev, MDAddiction medicine physician

Home alcohol detox, detoxification, alcohol coding, treatment of alcohol and drug addiction.